I lose myself in the big picture all too often. Huge issues like finances loom over me, causing my focus to become so narrowed on money (and how to make more of it), that I sometimes miss the little things of which life is made.
Due to the nature of freelancing, I often work more hours than I would if I had a “simple” job out of the house. There are no set working hours here, much as I’ve tried for years to make them. These are the reasons why I must force myself sometimes to take a break, step away, go breathe in some fresh air and head out into my little corner of the world.
Nature cures me but also awakens my restless heart, so surrounding myself with it can be both intoxicating and inspirational, but also slightly detrimental to my balance. While nothing opens me up the way a gorgeous, crisp Fall day does, a sunny Spring day with the cherry trees blooming and the air holding a promise of warmth to come still does great things for my soul. Today is one of those days.
It didn’t start that way; in fact, it started overcast, but with a hint of clearing at the edges of the sky. When the time came to take my daughter to the bus stop, the clouds unleashed a deluge, not yet ready to give the day over to the sun. Instead of walking, we took the car. After about five minutes at the bus stop, the sun starting breaking through again, but the rain was still coming down.
My daughter pointed out that made it prime “rainbow weather” so we peered around the sky until we saw it, off to the southwest, getting brighter as we marveled at its hues. While we oohed and aahed and hoped for a double, the school bus pulled up. We were so absorbed in the magic of the moment that we didn’t notice at first, until we saw the other kids heading for the bus’s door. Neither of us were ready to tear ourselves away, but life’s obligations call loudly, and all too often.
This is not the first rainbow we’ve ogled, and I know it won’t be our last. In fact, I believe I could recite the other times that my family members and I have breathed in those rare glimpses of splendor in the sky. If not the times, definitely some of the places: Rocking Horse Ranch–a double rainbow; the Isle of Lewis–upon pulling up to our rental house and then multiple times throughout our stay; locally–pulling the car over to watch them until they faded away.
The great thing about rainbows is that they come on the heels of storms. Like the story of Noah and the Ark, rainbows represent hope and renewal. A rainbow is a promise and a hint of good things to come. But only if we notice it.
You can’t count the stars or spot a hummingbird if you’re looking down. You can’t participate in a family tickle session or bandage a skinned knee from behind the closed door of a home office. Life can, and will, pass you by with nary a thought of you. We matter only when we make ourselves matter–to ourselves and to others. And we must be present to do that.
I’ve often said that I hate money. It makes me be something I’m not all too often. And even when I get to be myself, it’s still there, the sheer need of it nagging at the corners of awareness. I’m not naive–our world requires and depends upon money for so, so much. But I’m also wholly aware that you can’t take it with you, and this means both the material stuff and the memories.
I couldn’t care less about amassing the material stuff but I’m trying my damnedest to keep hoarding the memories. I’ll let you know how I do.
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