The Places I’ve Been: The Things I’ve Said & Heard

Rachel on CamelI’ve been thinking a lot lately about all of the places I’ve been and all of the traveling I’ve done, especially in my younger days. It’s no secret that I miss it–my gypsy soul forever yearns to just take wing on the next earnest gust of wind.

But, you know, that heavy word RESPONSIBILITY weighs me down and keeps me here, where I belong. So instead, I’ve had fun thinking of the most memorable quotes said or heard while traveling over the years (in no particular order):

  1. I hope he didna put yer rubbish en ma cornflakes!
  2. Holy shit! Why didn’t anybody tell me that dolphins have so many pointy teeth?!
  3. The Dead Sea burned every orifice on my body.
  4. Ma’am, you’re going to need to come with us. Is this your bag?
  5. Be sure to tie your shoes together or the jackals will steal one in the middle of the night.
  6. So, what–you’re mad at me because they’re trying to pinch my ass and not yours?
  7. I think there’s an entire army sleeping around us.
  8. Just wash your hair in the bidet.
  9. I will never EVER drink Arak or eat falafel again.
  10. I should have known Scottish wine would taste like feet.
  11. Have you ever had a pat-down before?
  12. Can you give us a ride? We’re hitchhiking to Paris.
  13. Do you hear that noise? Shhh! Just close your eyes and pretend you’re sleeping.
  14. What am I eating–is it dog? Oh my God–is it dog?
  15. Why is there a line of ants headed straight for my luggage?
  16. Look at her–she looks so much like her grandfather. (said in Hebrew)
  17. Ouch! Her Uzi just swung into my arm and I don’t think she even noticed.
  18. Make sure you get all the bugs out of the rice or it isn’t kosher…
  19. What is my camel doing?
  20. Does anybody in this country actually wear deodorant?
  21. Let’s just walk–it doesn’t look that far away…
  22. Do you want to see my gun?
  23. If I had to climb up and down these steps each day, I’d have a hump too.
  24. Oh, you’re the Americans! Yes, every home should have one.
  25. Sure–if you’re going topless, I’ll go topless.
  26. It’s not even 11 in the morning and I’m drinking a beer bigger than my head.
  27. Can we get some more barf bags, please?

One thought on “The Places I’ve Been: The Things I’ve Said & Heard

  1. Thank you for sharing this, and thank you for reminding me of being at some of those moments in time and place. Or remembering when you had told me those stories. Life well lived, let’s keep going.


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